One year has gone since Bob passed away last year on this date. I have been so busy this summer that I was either too tired or too busy to focus on last summer events. As soon as Caroline's party was finished and I've had some time to relax, I've really been feeling sad and missing Bob again.
Today, Caroline and I went out to Long Branch for lunch at a cute Sushi restaurant near the beach and to walk around and just spend some time together. She was just perfect to be with. We spent time talking about both sad and funny memories. My son, just does not understand sadness and he was stressful to be around. At one point when I was feeling very sad and weepy all he could focus on was how well I'm doing, how much I have accomplished etc. DUH, I could have wacked him of the side of his handsome head! He does not understand how what he is saying can be true BUT I can still feel such loss NOW!!! Their father and my husband is only dead a year. We are all entitled to still feel grief! He hides his feeling from Caroline and I in an attempt to be strong and not upset us. I wish he could just listen without needing so strongly to fix it right away.
I'm going to go knit with my friends tonight at B&N and as they are ALL women there I feel OK about going. I can feel how I'm feeling and the knitting will be an OK distraction.